A deep breathe

It comes down to here we go again!
I surpassed the three strikes and you are out limit....now I am on number 4! It is the 4rth strike on my body! I am not that old...44 years old and have alot of fight left in me!
This time I am going to fight it privately....no friends and family until I really need them. I suffocate from the neediness of others. I want to make my own decisions, don't want grief of people questioning my choice of treatments! Last time it was a horrible experience! I chose an alternative....ugh...the pain that came with the decision! I sold my villa in Italy, my farm in England and depleted my bank account. I think I am still about $25,000 in debt with no one in my family willing to help out! Lets say the choice I made in treatment was unconventional but it WORKED!!! I have been cancer free for 3 years! Yes it is back but I believe it was coming back anyhow. This time with less vengeance, smaller space and has given me a chance to really fight it! With lack of funds I am going to fight it the traditional way....radiation then chemo to follow possible. I hate that part! I can already feel the beaten up feeling you get after treatment BUT I know this is the best route this time. I will make it through, I will gather the strength from my children. A little smile and giggle feeds the soul! The soul is what you use to conquer this horrible disease!!! What do you suppose allows Me to survive each time I get hit with cancer? Luck, friends, soul,strength,medicine or perhaps a combination of all together. this time I am starting of with out one as I mentioned at the beginning...friends and family...I don't want to be smothered!!! Grimace groan and disagree but remember it is each persons decision on how they are going to deal with the rotten disease....
So follow along and see how I do.....send me a giggle, a laugh but NO PITY please!!!
It is off to treatment this afternoon!!
Ciao